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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Steven's Mom

Matthew 11: 28,29--28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

I'm running to you Jesus, today has been so hard and heart breaking. My son, Steven, the third of my 4 sons, has been battling mental illness for about 5 yrs. He's been hospitalized 5 times and today will be the 6th. Today Steven got upset over the fact that his father asked him to leave an I pod that didn't belong to him here at home, while Steven went to work. He and his dad went back and forth and Steven finally gave it to his dad. This episode upset Steven so much that he went into his rage mode, pacing, swearing, kicking things, talking to himself, going in and out the door and the like. The last time he stormed out, my youngest son ran in and said"mom, Steve just dumped Gasoline all over himself and took off running down the street threatening to kill himself. My mommy adrenaline immediately kicked into high gear and I ran out after him while calling 911 and explaining the situation. The dispatcher said she would dispatch our local police dept to look for him. That made me feel a little better because they all know Steven. They have dealt with him many times over the years. As I was looking around the neighborhood, I asked Gods protection over him and thanked God for loving Steven, problems and all. I had an idea that since Steven was supposed to be at work soon that perhaps he made his way there. I called his boss. His boss said" Hey, what's going on? I just saw Steven walking in the opposite direction as work and I stopped him to ask where he was going, and Steve started cursing at me saying he was going to kill himself. as I was trying to get him to come into my truck, the Police pulled up behind him and picked him up. So when I heard this I said thank you God for taking care of my boy. I am now waiting to hear where they took him and since he is 18, in this country he is considered an adult, so my rights are limited due to these privacy acts.

My Dear Jesus, I am so tired, I am so weary, I am so sad, and I NEED YOU. I am running straight into your arms. Hold me tight, help me cope, and give me the wisdom and renewed strength and patience to be the best mom for Steven. Help me to love him as You love him and and see him as You see him. I'm ready for the rest you offer Lord Jesus. Let me learn from You, and find comfort in You, as You restore my soul. Thank You! In your name, Jesus I pray.

My Son

Her little boy runs in...
"Mom I skinned my knee
I was riding my bike
and I fell in the street."
Mom scoops him up
Wipes away his tears.
She gets a bandage
and calms his fears.
She fixes him up
and gives him a kiss
She sends him back out
to his world of carefree bliss.
As she watches him go
She says a little prayer
"Lord please protect him
Keep him safe in your care."
A little while later
to school he goes
He's excited to learn
And shows off what he knows.
As time passes by
some changes take place
the kids become cruel
Anger comes to his face.
Her sweet little angel
seems misunderstood
no friends to be found
He doesn't react as he should.
Mom once again
sends up her request
"Watch over my son Lord,
As he's put to the test."
He seems unafraid
and likes lots of attention
will do almost anything
Which creates lots of tension.
Engaging in danger
Impulsive behaviors
Mom takes to her knees
Her faith never wavers.
Her boy is now grown
he's made it this far
It's been a long road
His youth bears the scar.
When he was young
Her worries were small
Now that He's older
She worries bout all
Crying out loud
to her Savior and Lord
She knows He loves her son
More than she ever could.
"Please shelter my child, Lord
under Your wing
I can no longer watch over him
in anything.
He's going his own way
Please draw him near
He may not want to listen Lord
Place Your words in his ear."
She gives back to God
Her great precious treasure
And trusts God's provision
To the greatest of measure.
She thanks God each day
for the gift of her son
Yes, there's been many challenges
But she's prayed through each one.
So far God's been faithful
to take care of His own
Who better than Him
till He brings her son home.

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